


shiver

by Anonymous



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Mental Instability, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 12:46:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18031997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/





	shiver

**_So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, do you?_ **

****

Peter can’t describe the feeling in his stomach. It twists, and it turns, and it aches.

 

_**I know you don't listen to me, ‘cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?** _

 

He sits in bed, his head spinning and his body shivering as he tries to make sense of it all.

 

_**But on and on...** _

 

He feels sick. That’s the only way to describe it, sick.

  
_**F** ** _r_ om the moment I wake, 'til the moment I sleep**_

 

Because as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, his heart doesn’t belong to him any more. It belongs to Tony Stark.

  
_**I'll be there by your side, just you try and stop me**_

 

Always has done, always will do.

  
_**I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care** _

__

Does he care? Does he even give a shit, about the pain he had caused Peter for doing what he did?

 

_**Oh, did you want me to change?** _

 

Peter had done some wrongs, there was no denying that. He had lied, had fuelled his own selfish ego with little regard for his mentor.

  
**_Well, I'll change for good_**

****

And when Mr. Stark had found out, he simply moved on. Peter could do the same, right?

  
_**And I want you to know**_

 

Right?

  
_**That you'll always get your way**_

 

Maybe not.

 

**_I wanted to say—_ **

 

I wanted to say I love you, Peter thinks bitterly.  


_**Don't you shiver** _

  
_**Shiver** _

  
_**Sing it loud and clear** _

  
_**I'll always be waiting for you** _

 

Not that that matters now. He’s gone, Peter thinks, he’s replaced you, and quickly at that.

 

**_So you know how much I need you_ **

 

God, did Peter ever tell him how much he needed him? Over and over, like a prayer to a God, like the cockerel greets the sun.

  
_**But you never even see me, do you?**_

 

He had said it like he was using his dying breath, he said it in the mornings when all Mr. Stark could think about was the coffee machine in the kitchen.

 

_**And is this my final chance of getting you?** _

 

But it hadn’t been enough. Even in the last moments, where he had begged for forgiveness, used every last bit of his strength to try and fix things.

 

_**But on and on** _

 

It hadn’t been enough. And it never will be.

 

**_From the moment I wake, 'til the moment I sleep_ **

 

_**I'll be there by your side, just you try and stop me** _

 

Because he was replaced.

 

**_I'll be waiting in line_ **

 

By _Harley_. The name burns like acid on Peter’s tongue, makes his lungs constrict dangerously and his head spin.

 

_**Just to see if you care, if you care** _

 

**_Oh, did you want me to change?_ **

****

He had tried to be polite to the newcomer, honest he did.

 

_**Well, I'll change for good** _

__

But as time progressed, Peter could sense a shift. Harley started being favoured, in little ways.

 

**_And I want you to know_ **

 

It was going to happen eventually. Peter was going to be cast off to the side.

 

_**That you'll always get your way** _

 

He just didn’t know it would happen so suddenly.

 

_**I wanted to say—** _

 

_**Don't you shiver** _

__

_**Don't you shiver** _

__

_**Sing it loud and clear** _

__

_**I'll always be waiting for you** _

 

And for that reason, it made it so much worse.

 

_**Yeah, I'll always be waiting for you** _

__

_**Yeah, I'll always be waiting for you** _

__

_**Yeah, I'll always be waiting for you** _

__

_**For you I will always be waiting** _

 

So now here he was. No mentor to speak of, nowhere to go.

 

_**And it's you I see, but you don't see me.** _

 

God, his heart aches.

 

_**And it's you I hear so loud and so clear** _

 

He’d beg again if he could. He’d beg until his throat went hoarse, and his lungs collapsed, and his lips turned blue. Beg for forgiveness, for a second chance.

 

_**I sing it loud and clear** _

 

But it’s too late.

 

**_And I'll always be waiting for you_ **

 

Replaced.


End file.
